by Dr. Lori Hart
Great news for anyone who cares about student well‑being: A 2026 peer‑reviewed study published in the Journal of American College Health analyzed more than 79,000 college students and found that the strongest predictor of flourishing is spending in‑person time with friends. More powerful than sleep. More powerful than exercise. More powerful than avoiding alcohol.
What the Research Actually Says About Flourishing
The study (Kurdyumov, Symanietz, Burke, Berg & Prichard, 2026) examined 51 aspects of student life: sleep, substance use, financial stress, academics, social behaviors.
The strongest predictor of flourishing wasn’t sleep. It wasn’t exercise. It wasn’t avoiding alcohol.
It was in‑person time with friends.
Students who spent more hours:
socializing with friends
participating in clubs and organizations
attending events
reported significantly higher well‑being.
In-Person Time with Friends. When I listen to men and women talk about why they join fraternities and sororities, the answer aligns perfectly with the research: They want to spend time with friends in college. It’s pretty simple.
So, when someone is going through a process to join an organization, we have to ask: Who controls, influences, or limits where their time is spent? Because time is not neutral. Time is power.
Brené Brown’s Lens: Power Over vs. Power Within
Brené Brown’s work gives us a clear way to understand how time is being used in fraternity and sorority life.
Power Over
Power Over shows up when time becomes a tool of control:
“Be here.”
“Stay together.”
“Don’t leave.”
“We’ll tell you when you’re done.”
“Put this puzzle together. In the dark. Say your name.”
Time becomes surveillance. Presence becomes proof of loyalty.
Power Within
Power Within is collaborative, respectful, and grounded in shared purpose:
Offering choices
Respecting boundaries
Creating meaningful opportunities
Building trust through transparency
Time becomes connection, not control.
Healthy organizations build Power Within by teaching time management, autonomy, and self‑leadership, not by consuming every free hour of a new member’s week.
Menu vs. Mandate
Healthy organizations offer a menu of opportunities: ways to plug in, meet people, learn, and grow.
Unhealthy organizations create a mandate: a rigid expectation that time must be surrendered to the group, often without purpose or boundaries.
Mandated time doesn’t build flourishing. It builds compliance. And compliance is not brotherhood. It is not sisterhood. It is not connection.
Where Excessive Time Is Showing Up
Across campuses, I’m seeing new member processes that require enormous amounts of time, often without any developmental purpose:
On‑campus lunch/meal hours
Pointless projects, tasks, crafts, riddles
Study or library hours (confirmed: almost no studying happens)
“House” hours
Location tracking on phones
Impromptu calls to “come do something”
Cleaning up late‑night events at annex houses
And here’s the irony: None of these practices support the one thing research tells us actually matters: time with friends. Not monitored time. Not task‑based time. Not time spent being tracked.
Time with friends. Why This Matters.
New members become sitting ducks. Required togetherness creates vulnerability to lineups, intimidation, and “traditions” chapters claim no longer exist.
Academics suffer. Time is a zero‑sum game. If you give it away, you lose it somewhere else.
It excludes students with other commitments. We say we value diverse members, then create systems that only work for people with unlimited free time.
Phone separation is becoming normalized. Some new members hide their phones so parents can’t see their location; others have phones taken “so they can focus.” This is not community building.
“It was optional.” Optional is rarely optional. Social consequences are real.
They bond with each other but disconnect from everyone else. Tight‑knit new member classes often become isolated from the rest of the chapter.
Class sizes have grown. Many spaces cannot accommodate large new members, yet the expectation remains: “Be together.”
The cost after initiation is enormous. Students must catch up on the life they paused, schoolwork, relationships, sleep, mental health, jobs. And if I am no longer required to be somewhere, why would I show up?
So, What Do We Do With the Power of Time?
We remember that time is a gift, not a weapon.
We remember that flourishing comes from friendship, not forced proximity.
We remember that new members are students first, humans always.
We remember that the best chapters build Power Within, confidence, belonging, leadership, connection, through meaningful experiences, not endless hours.
We remember that a menu invites people in. A mandate pushes people out.
The goal is not a group that survives the new member process. The goal is a group that thrives long after it.
Questions for Leaders to Consider
If flourishing requires in‑person time with friends, how can we create experiences for friendships to develop at every level of the organization?
Where in our process are we unintentionally using Power Over instead of building Power Within?
Which time expectations are truly developmental and which are simply tradition?
What would our new member experience look like if we designed it around student well‑being, not required student availability?
How can we shift from a mandate to a menu of meaningful opportunities?
What would it look like to give time back to new members and trust them with it?
Sources:
Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House, 2018.
Kurdyumov, K., Symanietz, T., Burke, S., Berg, C., & Prichard, J. (2026). What matters most for undergraduates’ psychological well‑being? A structural equation model analysis of modifiable behaviors in the ACHA‑NCHA. Journal of American College Health.
About Dr. Lori Hart
For over thirty years, she has been the 'go-to guru' for taking the messiest, most complex problems on college campuses and turning them into systems that make sense.
She’s a researcher, a champion for student health, and a parent who understands exactly what’s at stake. She believes that we don't need more rules, we need better relationships.
TICK-TOCK!
Time is shaping member experiences, right now. Let’s create a menu with meaning.